oomshi:

my favorite sport to play is masturbation

When my brother's in the shower...
  • -waiting for brother to get out of the shower-
  • -hears him singing-
  • me: will you quit singing?
  • brother: what?
  • me: QUIT SINGING. IT'S LAME
  • brother: WOMAN
  • brother: WHEN I'M IN THE SHOWER, TWO THINGS GET TO BE FREE
  • brother: MY BALLS
  • brother: AND MY SOUL

r-amp:

itunes has got it all wrong the hottest single of the year is me

(Source: luxerae)

twistedviper:

whorusszahhak:

perfectionistdia:

whorusszahhak:

don’t ever take me on a date to an aquarium because i will ignore you and spend the whole time looking at the fish

But, if you think about it, that’s all the more reason to go. The person you’re dating gets to sit back and watch you smile and have fun. All the while, he/she’s falling deeper in love with you.

thatS REALLY CUTE IM GONNA CRY

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(Source: fefarielle)

I go to lunch and come back to find I’ve gotten 6 new followers. Idk what was nicer, the food or the followers.

Hey-o guise!

Reblog if you love boobies.

(Source: lvdicrous)

"Your INFJ adores you more than they can express with words. Even if they don’t tell you verbally, they will show you how they feel through their patience, kindness, and willingness to please you."

(via themalelesbian) you pissed it away. (via iamtheslaughter)

lilacid:

niggaqueef:

when you sat in a weird position for a long time and you move and then your foot feels like this

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most accurate description of anything accurate ever in the history of accuracy

canadianslut:

im unfollowing u if ur not obsessed with me

canadianslut:

she got them blowjob lips

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bleerios:

not only is the ceo of abercrombie & fitch a jackass but he treated marty mcfly’s family like shit in all the back to the futures and that is inexcusable

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